just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
