Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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