Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
