i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
