Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think your dad took our porno
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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