sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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