I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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