I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
