Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
