in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's shark week go big or go home
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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