I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You are a genius and a whore.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
