Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
