If i come over, it means nothing
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize