dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
