craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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