Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
