Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
