Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
