That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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