You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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