It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
