So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
