walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize