I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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