I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
