I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
