You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
