Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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