I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
