Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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