is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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