It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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