I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
