words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
