Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
