somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
