I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
