I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
love makes seman taste better
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
