If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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