before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
