Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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