Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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