butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
