Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
