Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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