it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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