people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize