i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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