physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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