Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
