8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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