Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
