why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize