Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
