So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
